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Mum knows best

Updated: Jun 2, 2020

A mother and daughter relationship is like no other relationship in the world. One minute you’re gushing all over Instagram about how much you love each other and the next, you’re having a passive aggressive conversation about how you sat down on the sofa too aggressively for their liking. Let's not even get started on when it’s your time of the month and you’re in the mood to rip anyone’s head off for even breathing within a 1 mile radius of you before 10pm...

My relationship with my mum has definitely been a bit of a roller coaster over the years. Now I’m older, I can openly admit I was a bit of a stroppy teenager with a reasonably large temper on more than one occasion (remember when Cardi B through her shoe at Nicki? Well, let's just say I'd have given her a run for her money on the ol' temper scale. Okurrr?) But anyway, I can safely say that despite the ups and downs, I don’t know what I would do without her.

We’ve both changed so much over the years but I think it has only helped to strengthen our relationship. This amazing woman, who I'm lucky enough to call my mum, has dragged me through every hardship I’ve faced.  Yes, it annoys me when she gasps in horror at something to reveal it’s nothing important at all, moments after adrenaline has well and truly started pumping around my body at a rate so high that I believe I could be having a heart attack. Yes, it annoys me  when I've been explaining a story for 10 minutes and she replies with a completely a question relating to a conversation we had 20 minutes ago. And yes, it annoys me when she asks if I want salad or chips with a meal when the answer is always the same (I mean come on, who picks salad over chips?! WE NEED CHIPS IN OUR LIVES, AUD. TRYING TO LIVE MY BEST LIFE HERE!) Regardless of these minor issues, I still love her very much. She’d do absolutely anything for me and I’d do just as much for her.

I often ask my mum’s advice about anything and everything, from how to get rid of dickhead number 651 to how to clean an oven. So, to celebrate my wonderful mum on Mother’s Day, I thought I’d pick her brains about what her self care regime looks like and what she’d do differently if she could go back to her younger years…

What do you do to take care of yourself? Is there anything you do or avoid doing?

I don’t have negative people in my life because I don’t have room for negativity.  I don’t put up with people who bring stress into my life. That’s something, I think, that has come with age. You sift through people as you get older. Some people stay and some people leave. Some people are with you for a short time in your life, some people stay with you for the rest of your life. People come and go. You’ll notice that some people come into your life for a reason and then they leave. There often isn’t any rhyme or reason why and it’s learning to accept that those situations happen. I just surround myself with people who love me, who are positive, who don’t bring me stress and who want to see me happy.

My mind is really clear but I am lucky to have a great partner who I can talk to about anything. His calm nature is a good influence on me. He doesn’t bring me any stress in any way, shape or form. That’s what people should bring to your life. They should add to you, not take away from who you are.

Are there any activities you do improve your health?

Gardening. I like going outside in the garden. If you’d have said to me when I was younger, ‘Audri, you will go in the garden and love it’, I would have said, ‘urmmm no I won’t.’ But I like it. It surprisingly keeps me fit.

I think it also helps to keep my mind clear as well. I think it’s good for your mental health to be outside with nature.

If you could go back to your younger self and tell yourself one thing you should or could do to take care of yourself more, what would you say?

I would say don’t smoke and try and drink less. I would also say  don’t be a sheep, be more of a lion instead and have your own mind. Whilst you’re a follower, your confidence isn’t there because you’re not speaking up. I think a lot of that, for me, came from being bullied. But, as I got older, I became more confident and able to say how I felt.

I think I would also say don’t run around too much and take time out for yourself. Read a book! I never read books like I do now. Take time to sit down and listen to music and spend more time with your family and friends because I don’t think people spend enough time doing that. People are too busy rushing around instead of having any down time and I think it’s important. People lose connection with each other.

If you had more time, what would you like to do to improve your wellbeing?

I would like to volunteer, particularly at a local hospice. It’s just something I’ve always wanted to do. I’ve always said even if I won the lottery, I would still want to go and do the coffees in hospice or do a care assistant job.

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